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Daily Update Part 2

August 6, 2009

As we all know about Maki. And we also all know about Tess. 2 women in my life. Yeah never thought I would experience that, and how hard it is to choose between the two. OMG, I always thought that my heart was meant for only one. And now I have been faced with this kind of situation. For space sake, ill tell you the story of how I met Maki the next time. But going forward, well present…. I compared notes. I sat alone at the beach thinkin’, cno ba talaga. ( translation: who really is it?) I mean I always believed that people enter our lives for a reason, and while they wonder around our very own realm, your whole plan in life is impacted, changed, modified. So I watched the both of them sleep. I watched Maki sleep next to me for almost 2 months. I watched Tess sleep next to me for a lil’ over 2 years now. can 2 months give way to 2 years? Believe it or not, I don’t mean to sound selfish but its unavoidable, but I wish I can have them both or maybe mold them into 1 person. Theres so much more I need to learn about Maki, but she showed me she is more than willing/capable and more than ready to give me everything to make me happy with her. At the same time, Tess finally realizing what I have given her for the time I was with her back in my “Legacy” days. I always wanted for her to realize she held my life together…. back then. Now, I’m not so sure anymore. Damn it, life is full of tests. I asked for someone to give me another chance. By that I mean, lets go back wayy back in time for just a second…. Anny… ok thats enough. For those who know that story know it well… so yeah, I asked that one day I would come across the same situation again, only the next time hopefully choose whats really right for me. you know, no regrets kinda thing. But no matter how much I evaluated, re-evalute, formulate, reformulate..etc.. my situation im still stumped. No amount of wisdom in the world can truly understand the reasons why the heart is impacted greatly to choose the actions it wants to animate. if that makes any sense at all. ” Love only loves itself ” food for thought. also taken from a movie, dont remember which one right now, but yeah. ^_^. Both of which have spoiled me to a point I feel my soul has become rotten. I also thought of a 3rd option. To lose both of them altogether. An option I wish to not even think about or even consider, but its there. Maybe even so I would not choose it, but it will choose me…..

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